"I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self."

—ARISTOTLE

Temperance

Finding balance, regulating negative behaviours, breaking addictions and bad habits

In our exploration of personal growth, we’ve emphasized the importance of nurturing character traits and behaviors that align with our aspirations. This journey isn’t just about acquiring what we lack but also valuing what we already possess. A critical step in this process involves a thorough assessment of our current behaviors, pinpointing those that are undesirable, distasteful, and downright abhorrent. Recognizing these aspects allows us to set a foundation for meaningful change.

The principle of temperance plays a vital role in this endeavor, guiding us toward moderation and restraint. To embody temperance is to exercise self-regulation, particularly in matters of consumption. The substance of our character is, in large part, shaped by what we consume—be it literature, media, food, or substances like alcohol and drugs. Pursuing temperance, therefore, is not merely about eliminating negative habits but also about finding a balanced approach to engaging with potentially beneficial yet addictive activities.

"Everything in moderation, including moderation."

—OSCAR WILDE

Life’s balance is delicate, much like the narrow ranges within which essentials like water, sunlight, and air become conducive to life. An imbalance, whether it’s a surplus or deficiency, can disrupt the equilibrium necessary for our well-being. This delicate balance mirrors our own efforts to navigate the good and the bad in our personal development journey. Maximizing positive influences while minimizing the negative ones requires discernment, a skill developed through reflection and honest self-assessment. Reflecting on our initial self-awareness explorations can reveal negative behaviors and influences that we must address to move forward.

The path to self-improvement is fraught with challenges, often making it tempting to cling to familiar vices. However, recognizing the necessity to let go of certain habits or influences—no matter how difficult—marks the beginning of true growth. This realization prompts us to question which of our behaviors need outright elimination and which social interactions fail to serve our higher purpose. Identifying these elements is the first step; the harder task is committing to change, especially when it involves distancing ourselves from negative influences.

Ultimately, our environment and the company we keep play significant roles in shaping our habits and, by extension, our lives. Breaking free from harmful patterns isn’t just about stopping a behavior but also about transforming the underlying conditions that foster these habits. By filling the void left by eliminated vices with positive alternatives, we pave the way for a more balanced, fulfilling life. This journey of self-improvement, while challenging, is a testament to our capacity for change and growth, urging us always to strive for a better version of ourselves.

Temperance Reflection

Identify Bad Habits: What are three habits you engage in regularly that you believe might not be serving your well-being? Why do you think they’re negative?

Substance Use: How often do you consume substances like alcohol, tobacco, or recreational drugs? Have you ever felt the need to cut back?

Time Management: Reflect on how you spend your free time (e.g., screen time, hobbies, socializing). Are there activities that dominate more time than you’d like? Why?

Emotional Responses: When faced with stress or negative emotions, what are your go-to coping mechanisms? Do you consider these healthy in the long term?

Social Influences: Think about your social interactions. Are there relationships that encourage behaviors you’re trying to change? How do these relationships impact your efforts?

Self-Reflection on Change: What is one area in your life where you recognize a need for more temperance or moderation? Why is change needed, and what challenges do you foresee?

Action Steps: Based on your reflections, what is one concrete step you can take this week to address a negative habit or area of your life where temperance is needed?

Discussion

Think about the Rules of Habit from Week 4. How can you reverse each rule in application to stopping bad habits and addictions.

Homework

In Huberman’s video the statistic of “30 days” was cited as the average amount of time that the brain takes to reset reward pathways. Key word there is average, so results may vary. You may take less time, or you may take more time. Think of the most mild bad habit you can think of, that you wish to quit and commit to at least a 4 week fast of that thing. Keep a log of any relapses and try to keep to the rule of “never two”. That is if you slip up once, don’t allow yourself to slip twice in a row.

Add the Lobster story from 12 rules for life. Add vietnam study about american soldiers

Further Reading

Atomic Habits

  • Author: James Clear
  • Publication Date: 2018